Clear and Bright: Chapter Fourteen: Shattered

                                        

We pull up in front of his parents' home and my heart is in my throat. I know he's irritated by my escalating state of panic, but he's trying to be patient, he doesn't want to upset me further. I'm sure this is going to be a disaster, no matter how much he tries to convince me otherwise. I think of the invisible game and wish I was four years old, when the only mother that didn't like me was my own.

"Sweetheart, you have got to relax. I have never seen you like this. It's so unnecessary."

"Please take me home. Please, Jaimin, I'm begging you. I'll call her and apologize... "

"We're here and we're staying. You're making yourself sick for nothing. They are going to love you. I have no doubts about that."

"Please?" My voice cracks on the single word and I feel the tears coming.

"No. Don't ask me again. I've had enough of this, it stops now."

He gets out of the truck and comes around to my door, a stern expression on his face. If this is the beginning of the end, I don't want to waste whatever time I have left with him being angry at me. I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. Don't make him mad... don't make him mad... don't make him mad...

He holds his hand out to me and I place mine in his.

"You're trembling. Jesus, Claire, this is ridiculous."

"I'm sorry."

"I want you to calm down. I want you to relax and clear your mind of all of this nonsense. Do that for me."

"I'm trying. Can I just say one thing to you before we go in there? In case it's the only chance I ever have... I need you to know... "

"No."

"Wait, you don't understand... I just want to..."

"I do understand. I know exactly what you want to say, and I don't want to hear it."

Ouch. No... I don't want to be four years old anymore. "I... "

"No, Claire. Not like this. You have forever to tell me that, I don't want to hear it now. Let's go."

"Okay," I say, my voice very small with hurt that's anything but. "As you see fit."

"Damn it, you know what I meant... "

"I heard you, Jaimin, loud and clear."

I climb down from the truck, and visualize the crumbled bricks of my fallen wall reassembling themselves around me. I start to walk towards the front door and hear his quiet voice.

"I did not mean that to hurt you. You know that. Don't make it something else."

I respond without turning around. "It's okay, I won't let it happen again."

Just at that moment, the front door opens and a stunning woman who can only be Jaimin's mother steps into the doorway. Her eyes go wide as soon as she sees me.

I reach her and extend my hand. "Hello, Mrs. Guillory, I'm Claire."

"Oh my God... it's you... "

Jaimin reaches us and I feel his hand on my back as he leans down to kiss her cheek. She hasn't taken her eyes off of me, he apparently didn't mention to her who I was.

"Are you going to let us in?" he asks her with an innocent smile.

She nods her head and steps aside, still not saying anything.

Jaimin takes my hand and leads me in, closing the door. He waves his hand in front of her with a laugh.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. It's just that... you... he... I've seen your face so many times... but I never thought... "

"My mother at a loss for words? Thought I'd never see the day."

"Don't you wish, dear." She smirks at him and it makes me laugh. I've definitely seen that face before.

He winks at me and I'm shocked that it doesn't render me the usual mushy state. He notices too. His mouth turns instantly into a frown. I turn my eyes away, not wanting to see him look unhappy, no matter how hurt I am, and a painting on the wall catches me by surprise.

Mrs. Guillory is still watching me intently and follows my gaze. "Isn't it wonderful? It's my favorite piece."

"It is?"

"Yes, it was a gift from Jaimin. Don't you like it?"

"I... it's just... well, I'm very flattered...  It's mine."

"Yours?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Oh, darling, please call me Caressa. You painted this?"

"Yes, ma'am. Sorry... Caressa."

She looks at Jaimin, her eyebrows raised in a curious expression. "The vineyard house?"

He smiles, "All hers."

"But that's been... I'm just now meeting her? And... oh... you rotten...  How could you?"

She raises her hand to slap him and he laughs, and holds up the two bottles of her favorite wine he's brought for her as he backs away. Just at that moment the door opens and Jaimin's father walks in. His reaction to me is the same.

"I'm not finished with you," she says to Jaimin before turning to me. "Claire, darling, this is Jaimin's father, Aricin. You'll have to forgive us, we're not usually the gaping sort, but seeing you is such a shock... "

I smile shyly and feel Jaimin's hand come up to stroke my hair and drop to rest on the small of my back as I take his father's extended hand. "Hello." It's as much as I get out due to the shiver running up my spine.

He greets me warmly as I hear Jaimin mumble a low "Thank God" behind me. I survived one wink without toppling and he was feeling vulnerable. Serves him right...

Aricin smiles at his son with knowing eyes. "So, why was your mother attempting to assault you when I came in?"

"She's making assumptions. I'm pretty sure she just thinks I'm an asshole."

"Oh, is that all? I thought it was something I didn't already know."

I giggle, I can't help it. Jaimin leans down and kisses me sweetly on the cheek as he reaches up and gives my hair a gentle tug. Caressa is watching us and when my eyes meet hers I feel the blush start to spread.

Her brow furrows and she addresses her son. "As long as you've dreamed of her, you'd think you'd show her a little more respect now that she's within your reach. There are different kinds of women, Jaimin, I would hope you would see that."

Oh...

"I assure you, Mother, I do. Very clearly."

Aricin smiles at me and tries to lighten the mood, "Why don't we move to the kitchen and crack open one of those bottles? I'm looking forward to showing my son how to prepare an edible meal."

My mouth drops open and Jaimin chuckles, "Give it your best shot, old man. Claire's used to perfection. I'll  be humiliated for you if I have to feed her when we leave. Unless you'd rather save yourself from shame and just let me do it now?"

"Oh, here we go... " Mrs. Guillory says with a roll of her eyes. She takes me by the hand to lead me away and slaps Jaimin's hand when he tries to hold on to me.

"Told you," he says from behind me as we all walk to the kitchen.

The night is still young... 

Mrs. Guillory and I are enjoying the battle for supremacy playing out before us in the kitchen. It's the funniest thing I've ever seen. My arrogant bastard is in rare form tonight. He's completely relaxed and very much himself with his parents. I like seeing him this way.

"Jaimin, I want to know how long you've been hiding Claire from us, and why?"

"I haven't been hiding her, Mom, things have just been a little hectic."

"Hectic? Is that what you call your time management?"

"What are you trying to say, Mother?"

"If she's been around as long as I think she has, we should have known about her and you should show some appreciation. She should be the one slapping you."

"She hasn't. I didn't know her when I purchased the paintings. It's an unbelievable coincidence, but true nonetheless. Don't make assumptions."

"Is there something I could clear up? Why exactly would I want to slap him?" I ask, a bit confused.

"It's alright, sweetheart, I told you... my mother thinks I'm an asshole. She assumes we've known each other since I purchased your paintings for the vineyard house, even though it makes no sense and she should see that. Based on that assumption, she also assumes that I've behaved treacherously during said assumed relationship. And she'd like you to slap me for it."

It takes me a minute, but I see now. "Oh. Well, we've actually only known each other a few weeks, and if I understand...  Caressa, you may be happy to know that your son is most often a very considerate and very sweet man. And as far as treacherous behavior goes... his harem has been dismissed."

Aricin bursts out laughing at the last part, and Jaimin snickers, but his mother is focused on something else.

"Considerate and sweet? He is? My son?"

"Yes, he is," I laugh, "When he's not being an ass, of course."

"I'd like to point out, sweetheart, that you adore me even when I am."

"Of course you would. As always, you should get over yourself."

Caressa gives an exasperated sigh, "Oh, Claire, we've waited for that to happen for a very long time. I'm afraid that day will never come, but you keep telling him that."

"Trust me, Mother, she has a very smart mouth, and isn't in the least bit shy about using it on me."

Just say the word... "Which you happen to adore," I add with my own cocky smirk.

He chuckles, "Most of the time."

He grabs the bottle of wine and walks over to refill our glasses, doing so from behind us. Caressa smiles at him as he pours hers and then I feel him up against by back. He leans impossibly close as he slowly fills my glass, bending to run his nose teasingly up my neck and into my hair. Just like that, I'm done. Evil bastard. And in front of his parents, no less. Really evil...

I struggle to compose myself and I see him smirk as he walks back around to where his father is. My insides and heart are at war with my head ... I was hurt by his rejection outside, even though I know that wasn't his intention. I thought I was in self-defense mode, but my body is quickly betraying me. He's trying to manipulate me, I know he is, but knowing that isn't doing anything for my resolve. He's getting away with it. I'm powerless to stop him, and he knows it. Perhaps he's not the only one.

Caressa is looking at me with an almost sad expression. She touches my hand and gives me a small smile, before turning her attention to her son.

"Jaimin, could I have a word with you privately?"

It was only a matter of time...

He's watching me, he knows what I'm thinking. I absentmindedly reach up and feel the tiny key with trembling fingers. I do love you, even if you don't want to hear it... I want forever... please...

"Is that really necessary, Mom? I think it can wait, don't you?"

"No, it can't. You don't mind, do you Claire?"

Yes... "Of course not," I say, trying to force a smile.

"I'll be right back," he says as he comes over to follow his mother out of the room, then leans down to whisper in my ear "Please stop worrying. She's crazy about you."

He kisses me tenderly on the top of my head and is gone. When I look up, Aricin is looking at me with a concerned expression.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. So... did Jaimin acquire his passion for cooking from you?"

He gives me a look that says 'I don't buy it', but lets it go. "I suppose he did initially. He was always in the kitchen with me, even as a child. It fascinated him. He paid attention to everything. I think he was about ten years old the first time he told me I was doing something wrong. I disagreed, of course, and he was determined to prove his point. I probably don't have to tell you how stubborn my son is... "

I smile and shake my head. "So, did he?"

"Yes. He pulled out a pan and made his creation his way. Watching him... I knew it's what he would do. It was in him."

He's smiling proudly at the memory of his young, determined boy. It warms me.

"And how was it? His creation?"

He laughs, shaking his head, "Better than mine. Ten years old, and he taught me something... his understanding of taste is like nothing I've ever seen. He had it even then, it was developing, along with his cocky attitude. He's been incorrigible ever since."

"A cocky ten year old?" I laugh and roll my eyes, "No wonder it seems to come so naturally to him, he's had years of practice. Your son is something else... although, when it comes to food, he can be as cocky as he wants as long as he's feeding me. Everything he puts on a plate is heaven. He knows that, of course... "

"That he does. I've always considered myself a good chef, but Jaimin is a phenomenal one, and he absolutely knows it."

"Jouissance," Mr. Arrogant boasts shamelessly, coming back into the kitchen.

"Jaimin, you know how much I dislike that." Caressa pulls a spatula out of a nearby drawer and smacks him right on the ass with it.

Is that where he gets it?

Everyone is laughing, including him.

"Careful, Mother, just touching that spatula could burn your hand, kind of like holy water to the devil."

Aricin laughs and takes it from her just as she's about to do it again. "You know dear, he does have a point. And he might visit more often if you didn't beat him every time he comes."

"He's going to be visiting more, whether I do or I don't. We've already discussed it. I won't allow him to hide Claire from us anymore, and for her sake, maybe there's still time for me to teach him some manners before he scares her away."

They both smile at me, and I see something flicker in Jaimin's eyes. He comes behind me and wraps his arms around me.

"Don't worry, Mother... "

His right hand comes up to wrap possessively around my throat. It makes my pulse quicken. I know he can feel it. I know he likes it, despite his mother's shock and obvious displeasure at his dominant gesture. He knows she's watching. That only makes him like it more. He's making a point. She suggested I could be lost to him, however innocently. He didn't like that.

"She's not going anywhere. Ever. Are you, Claire?"

My arrogant bastard wants control.

I shake my head no.

His fingers apply gentle pressure and he whispers softly, "I asked you a question."

He wants submissive obedience.

Why am I so aroused by that? "No."

"No, what?"

"No, I'm not going anywhere."

"Almost."

"Ever."

"Good girl."

Aricin clears his throat and announces dinner is ready. Mrs. Guillory is not happy with her son. Her talk seems to have backfired on her. When we enter the dining room, she pats the chair next to her.

"Claire, why don't you sit next to me?"

Jaimin has pulled out a chair across the table. They're glaring at each other.

"Claire."

He knows it's all he has to say.

I sit where he wants me.

Caressa crosses her arms and gives him a stern look.

"Aricin, after we've finished eating, I think you should talk to your son about the proper ways of treating a lady."

Jaimin snorts and pulls my chair closer to him.

 Aricin looks at me before responding. "Our son is an adult, as is Claire. She doesn't appear to be unhappy with his treatment. Perhaps that's not for you to understand. I think you should leave them be."

"Are you still going to feel that way when he hurts her and you did nothing to stop it?"

I don't think she means emotionally. His gestures have given her the wrong impression. This is getting uncomfortable in a way I hadn't anticipated. I glance at Jaimin and he is boiling.

"HURT HER?"

"That's what I said. Your behavior is painting an ugly picture, Jaimin."

"Be careful, Mother."

"Treat her gently and with respect!"

I don't like this. I'd rather she didn't like me than have this misconception of her son.

"Caressa, I think you have the wrong impression. Jaimin would never... "

"Claire, I don't need you to defend me to my mother. I want you to be quiet."

Okay then...


"Tell him no!"

I look at her and give a slight shake of my head. She shoots him a dirty look.

Dinner is uncomfortable. She doesn't let up. He gets more and more annoyed. Aricin continues to try to reign her in, unsuccessfully. I sit in silence, waiting for this night to end. 

Jaimin glances at me often, touches me. It's almost as if he's making sure I haven't disappeared from my place beside him, my silence unnerving him. He wanted me quiet, I'm only following his orders.

His eyes aren't the only ones I feel. Caressa's growing disapproval is clear without a word. She watches his every move like a hawk. She scowls every time he touches me.

"She's not a kitten, Jaimin. Stop petting her."

"Am I bothering you, Claire? My mother seems to think I am."

"No," I answer quietly.

"Well, at least it's a word you know," she mutters under her breath.

Jaimin slams his fist on the table, and it makes me jump.

I see her staring at me from the corner of my eye. She thinks I'm weak. She's disgusted by it. I don't acknowledge her piteous glances, I no longer care what she thinks of me. My earlier fears are gone. I knew she'd find a reason, it's a new one for me, but the result is the same. I never stood a chance.

Aricin is different. I think he understands his son. He knows this is new territory for him, he knows he has to find his way. I think he sees me differently than his wife. He doesn't appear happy with her. He smiles at me often. I think he likes me.

Caressa addresses me suddenly, "Claire, I'd like to meet your parents... it would be nice to have some insight into your obedient manner with my son. Have they seen the two of you together? Do they find it as disturbing as I do?"

Jaimin stands angrily, his chair crashing hard to the floor behind him. "TOO. FAR. MOTHER."

"Of course you would say that, Jaimin, you like your puppet just the way she is. That's probably why you've kept her hidden from me, you were afraid I'd tangle her strings and make things difficult for you. If I had it my way, she'd stand on her own two feet and cut them, but I think we're a long way from that."

Doll, and now puppet? 

Jaimin's voice pulls me from my thoughts. "We're finished here. Dad, take Claire out to my truck. I'd like my own private word with my mother."

Maybe he should stay here. "It's okay, Mr. Guillory, I'll be fine by myself. Thank you for... "

"Claire."

Okay, gag order back in place.

"I assure you, son, she'll be hearing a few from me after you've gone." He reaches me and extends his arm, "Your escort, mademoiselle."

I smile at him and let him help me from my seat and lead me out.

"Oh, Claire?" Caressa calls from the dining room, "I don't know what you were taught, but it's proper to say good bye when leaving a person's home."

"Etiquette lessons from you, Mrs. Guillory?" I call back, "I don't think so."

I hear her gasp and Aricin chuckles beside me. "She had that coming."

We step outside and the air is considerably cooler than when we arrived. I open the door of the truck, remembering Jaimin never put on his jacket before we went inside. I slip it on, sure I look ridiculous, like a little girl playing in her daddy's closet, but I'm too cold to care. I shrug and Aricin smiles at me. He hops in and starts the truck, turning the heat on, and gestures for me to get in.

"I want to apologize for my wife's behavior. I don't know what got into her tonight."

"That's not necessary."

"You're unhappy, as you should be for being treated that way."

"I don't like to see Jaimin disrespected. I won't make exceptions for her just because she's his mother. I'm unhappy about that, not whatever she may think of me."

"I'm very pleased that my son has conducted himself worthy of earning your respect. I'm afraid my wife sees it as something else."

"She thinks I'm afraid of him."

"I believe she does. His behavior with you tonight was a bit intense. Is he always that way with you?"

"Jaimin is an intense person. I don't think I have to tell you that."

"No, you certainly don't, but I think it's at an extreme with you. It has been since he found those paintings of you. I don't know how he didn't scare you? You must have found that unsettling on some level when he showed you?"

"I should have, I suppose... but something just happened when I saw him... " my voice trails off, the memory of that first day flooding my head.

He's smiling at me when I come out of my daze. It makes me blush. "Intense."

"I see that. Claire, I don't share my wife's concerns, as long as you feel safe. A man is sometimes overcome, I understand that."

"He would never hurt me. She's wrong to think that. I'm not afraid of him. He just needs control... he's a man... he wants to be treated like one. He wants to feel like one... be revered, perhaps...  He's a little overbearing sometimes, but it's who he is. I don't want to change him. He's not so arrogant that he can't admit his faults. He's harder on himself than you might believe.

I know this is all new for him. I have to let him work it out. He's trying. I think it's the first thing he's ever felt vulnerable about in his life. He's not afraid to let me see that. He doesn't hide it from me. How could I not respect that? Your son is a good man. I've never felt safer. He gives me more than you could imagine, parts of himself... he doesn't hold anything back from me. If he needs control... I can give him that. It doesn't mean I'm weak."

"I don't think you're weak. There's a fire in you, I think you just choose when to let it burn. Jaimin isn't the only one of you who needs control. Perhaps the two of you have found your balance together. That's not for anyone else to judge."

"Thank you for seeing that."

"Things aren't always as black and white as they appear."

"No, they're not. Although... this evening was pretty clearly defined."

"Don't worry about her, Claire. I'm confident that Jaimin is in there setting her straight, and whatever she's left stewing about, I'll take care of. She's never seen him with anyone, I think she expected different behavior from him, or wanted it anyway. I know she pushed his buttons, and I didn't doubt how he would respond, at least to an extent. I was a little shocked at his manner with you, but you didn't appear afraid in any way. You seem to understand him very well, and it's clear that you care about him. Whatever you choose to concede to him is between the two of you. I gather from your words that it's not always so one-sided."

"It's not."

"Good."

I see Jaimin walk out of the house and towards us. It doesn't look like it went well. Aricin starts to get out of the truck and I put my hand on his arm.

"Thank you. For everything."

"You're very welcome."

"And dinner was wonderful, by the way."

"Only because I helped," Jaimin says with a snicker as he switches places with his father.

He rolls his eyes at his cocky son. "And Claire... I'm glad something happened."

It makes me smile and Jaimin looks between us curiously as Aricin says good night and turns and walks back to the house.

"What happened?" he asks, closing his door.

"You."

"My father adores you."

"I'm very fond of him, too."

"Did you have a nice chat?" he asks as he pulls out of the drive.

"Better than yours, I'm sure."

"I don't know what to say about that... "

He looks angry, but I'm not sure with whom. "Jaimin... I can't honestly say that I'm sorry for what I said to her, because I'm not, but for you... I'm sorry that I disrespected her. She's your mother and... "

"You think I'm upset with you for that?"

"I can understand if you are."

"I'm not. She was being a bitch and you called her on it. I was proud of you and your smart little mouth."

He winks at me and I definitely don't survive this one. I hear him chuckle as I close my eyes and lean my head back against the seat.

"You had me scared for a minute."

"I know."


We spend the rest of the ride to his apartment in silence. When we arrive, he comes around and opens my door and helps me down from the truck, and gives me a sweet smile.

"I'm glad I left that. You look adorable."

"I was cold."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to warm you."

"You're here now."

His eyes flicker wickedly, but he doesn't say anything as he leads me inside. He looks me over and hesitates as he starts to help me off with his jacket.

"As beautiful as you are in that dress, there's something about my jacket on you... I hate to take it off."

I see that... hmmm... "Maybe you'd like to see me in the trousers too? You should take them off."

"Always thinking, aren't you?"

I bat my eyelashes at him and he shakes his head and laughs, pulling the jacket off of me with a sigh.

"Thank you for not getting mad."

"You've given me no reason to be."

"I did at dinner. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to belittle you to her. I would never do that."

"I wasn't angry, and I know you weren't. I know you didn't like what she was implying, I'm fully aware of how much you want people to respect me, however little I actually deserve that. Your opinion of me is far higher than I've earned from you. You don't owe me any apology, sweetheart, but I owe you one. I'm sorry I told you to be quiet. I told you I'd never do that again... I broke my promise. It won't happen again. You have my word."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not. Don't bend too much for me."

"You're not her."

"I sure sounded like her tonight."

I know he's no longer referring to telling me to be quiet.

"That hurt me."

"I know it did, and I'm very sorry. I didn't mean that I don't want to hear it... just not out of desperation. Can you try to understand that? Letting you would have meant I was giving credit to your fears. I couldn't do that. Does that make sense?"

"It's not the first time you've stopped me."

"Think about that day, Claire. It was the same thing."

I nod my head and he pulls me into his arms. I snuggle into him and close my eyes.

"Are you tired?" he asks sweetly.

"No, just trying to let go of the day. Would it be alright if I took a hot bath?"

"Of course. I'll run it for you."

"Can we have a fire?"

"You can have anything you want."

"And wine?"

"Yes, but I think I'd like something stronger."

I remember his promise from this morning and look up at him innocently. "Have I been good enough to be indulged?"

He gently strokes my hair and chuckles, his eyes shining with mischief. "Ah, you haven't forgotten. Don't worry your pretty head, I have plans for you."

I squeal like a silly child and he laughs. "Now, stop being adorable for five minutes and let me start your bath, so I can attend to your other requests before I forget any of them."

"I'm going to buy you a book so you can start writing things down."

He takes my hand and leads me to the bedroom. He picks up a leather bound notebook from the bedside table and hands it to me.

"I picked that up in a book shop today the first time I left you. I was already planning to write down my notes before you asked me to. You're a demanding little brat, I didn't want to see you pout if I forgot anything."

I stick my tongue out at him. "Even your notebook is pretentious. You're really something else, but I'm very happy that you're so dedicated. I'll help you, just in case."

"Anything specific you're particularly worried I may have forgotten?" he asks with a chuckle.

"They're all important. I don't want you to forget any. Since you already have a book, I guess I'll get you a pen."

"I have many of those, you don't have to get me anything, all I want is you."

"I'm all yours."

"I know."

He smirks shamelessly at me and leaves the bedroom and a few seconds later I hear the water running in the bath. I put the notebook back on the table and get my things ready, laying them on the bed.




The bath was exactly what I needed, the stress of the day and evening washed away. The glass of wine he left me didn't hurt either. I feel completely relaxed and refreshed, anxious to cuddle up in front of the warm fire with my love. I walk into the bedroom and find that the pajamas I left on the bed are gone. All that lies there is his jacket, a pair of black lace boy shorts, a piece of paper torn from the notebook, and the book itself. The notebook is open and I can see that he's written in it. I pick it up to read his words.


                                 Notes and Promises for Claire

* "Not for less than three carats"


** Door rattling


*** Shower-start AND finish.


**** See very conscious and very happy Claire-refer to note one


***** Make my kitten purr


****** Practice makes perfect--refer to note five. Repeatedly.


Oh...


He's not even here and I'm blushing. Now where the heck are my pajamas? I look at his jacket again, confused. I pick up the note he's written and I can't believe my eyes.

   I WANT YOU TO PUT THESE ON. NOTHING ELSE. THEN COME TO ME.




Holy shit! Is this some kind of joke? I pick it up, expecting to find my pajamas underneath, but nothing. He can't be serious. He wouldn't... would he? He was definitely intrigued by the sight of his jacket on me... but this... is this a test? What am I supposed to do? Certainly I'm not supposed to... if it is a test and I fail... oh hell, who cares! Whatever the consequences... sooooooo worth it.


I slip on the boy shorts, making my own mental note to buy countless more pairs. Countless chocolate pairs. I wonder if he'd like to do that kind of shopping with me...

I'm trembling as I slip the jacket on. Get a hold of yourself... this is probably nothing more than a spectator sport for him... a visual he couldn't help but need. You're going to be put on display again. That's it. Don't get your hopes up.


I offered to model for him this morning. He wants it now. No problem. I slip the necklace over my head, he said nothing else, but I don't think he'll object to my wanting his heart close to me. I step before the mirror and look at the finished product. I guess I can see why he would find this sexy. I feel sexy. I give my hair a final tousle and give my ass a gentle pat. Sorry if I'm about to get you in trouble... test or not, I can't deny him.


I take one very deep breath and open the bedroom door, empty wineglass in hand. I can feel the warmth of the fire as I enter the hallway, but that's nothing compared to the heat coming off of him when his eyes fall on me. He's sitting in the chair near the fireplace. His shirt is half unbuttoned, pulled from his pants, his sleeves rolled up. His feet are bare and he's holding the something stronger he mentioned in his hand, looking completely relaxed. And, have mercy on my soul, sexy as hell. His eyes travel over me painstakingly slowly, setting fire to my insides.

"Now is not the time to be shy, Claire. Let go of the jacket."

I hadn't even realized I was clutching it closed, but I let go as instructed and it falls open, the satiny lining rubbing gloriously across my nipples as it does. He takes a slow sip from the amber liquid in his glass, his eyes never leaving me. They bore into me and I'm frozen where I stand, mesmerized by the desire I see in them. If this is a test, I'm going to fail. I won't stop him, not this time. Whatever happens... whatever the consequences... I'll deal with them as they come.

"Come here," he orders, low and sexy.

I walk to him on shaky legs and the burning desire in his eyes smolders stronger and fiercer the closer I get to him. He doesn't move from his relaxed position in the chair as I reach him, only holding up his drink-free hand for me to stop. I stand motionless before him, not knowing what he wants. Well... maybe that's not entirely true. He wants control. That is clear.

It seems like forever before he moves, but he puts his glass on the side table and reaches now to take the glass from my hand, filling it from a bottle I now notice in an ice bucket beside him.  Next to that is the bottle of whatever he's drinking. Sitting my glass next to his, he sits forward suddenly, grabbing my hands and pulling me to my knees between his open legs.

He trails his finger from my chin, down my neck, to the place between my breasts where the heart rests. "I said nothing else."

Crap. Leave it to me to screw this up...

"It's a nice touch... "

Thank God.

"But next time do exactly as you're told."

Yes, Sir...


"Understood?"

I nod and he raises a brow at me. Oops.

"Yes," I answer through quivering lips.

He's enjoying his control. His eyes are alive with it. I can't deny him this, no matter how much it goes against who I've always been.


Was.


There's nothing I won't give him...

"Are you thirsty?"

I am now... "Yes," I say again.

He picks up my glass, but instead of handing it to me, dips his finger in the wine and runs it over my bottom lip.

"Don't let it drip," he warns.

I lick my lip and he cocks his head.

"Open your mouth."


I open and he dips his finger again and puts it in my mouth. I just stare at him, wide-eyed.

"Don't you want it?"

I don't think he expects to hear my answer this time. I close my lips around his finger and gently suck.

His breath catches, but he quickly recovers himself and hands me my glass, sitting back in the chair and picking up his own. Our eyes blaze into each other as we both take a sip.

I don't know what I should do. I don't know what he wants. I don't know if my position is a clue. It seems that perhaps it is, but I don't want to assume. His eyes give nothing away, he just gazes at me, sipping his drink.

I start to fidget a little and he raises up from the chair, lifting my chin, making sure not to brush against my face as he leans down to grab a pillow from in front of the fireplace.

"Up," he says, placing it on the floor in front of him, before gesturing me back down. "Better?"

My response is barely a whisper, "Yes. Thank you."

He smiles at me and sits back down, picking up his glass again.

My mind is whirling from his little game. I want to know what he wants. Am I supposed to know? Am I supposed to do something?

"Patience," he says with a smirk.

Damn face. Can you be on my side just once?


I know it can't. Neither can my legs. I'm trying not to move, but they're trembling so hard it's making me teeter.

"Hold still."

Easy for you to say...


"Your mouth is even smart in your head."

Lucky guess, arrogant bastard.


"Remember what I said about endurance... of course, if you're tired, or don't think your reward will be worth it, you can get up."

Game on. Consider me a stone.

"Don't hold your breath, it won't help you. You'll only make yourself dizzy."

I expel the breath I was holding, and take a sip of my wine. The glass shaking in my hand doesn't escape him.

"Are you afraid of something?"

"No."

"Nervous?"

"No."

"Uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Lying to me about any of the three?"

"No."

"I'm not sure I believe you."

I pout and he winks at me.

Well, that sure as hell doesn't help!


"Perhaps that was unfair of me," he chuckles wickedly.

"Your rules."

"Good girl. It pleases me that you understand."

Score one for Claire.


He leans forward now, "Take one more sip before I take it from you."

I do as I'm told and he takes my glass. He sets it on the table and reaches up to run his thumb across my lip, his other hand brushing my hair from my face, before threading into my hair and grasping the back of my head.

"Do you know what I want?"

Oh God... "I wouldn't want to make assumptions."

"Very good girl."

He trails his thumb down my chin and my neck. When it reaches the base of my throat, his fingers extend out to run under the jacket, trailing featherlight on my skin, over my breast and down my stomach. He stops when he reaches lace, his fingers curving around my waist.

God help me...

"You're very responsive to me. I like that."

"That's good because I can't help it."

"You better never try. I think you did that tonight. I didn't like that."

I begin to shake my head, but his hand stills me.

"Don't, Claire. Don't ever try to turn yourself off to me. Don't forget who you belong to."

"I couldn't possibly... "

He stands, his hand moving from my waist to cup firmly under my chin, tilting my head back. "Do you trust me?"

His legs are against me, it's getting clearer to me what he wants.

"Yes."

"How much?"

I smile up at him, "Absolutely."

"Enough to close your eyes?"

I close them without answering, hoping it's what he wants. It seems to please him, his hand releasing my chin, his fingers now stroking my hair.

"Do you know how vulnerable you are to me right now?" His voice erases any doubt I may have had. I can hear how aroused he is by his dominant position.

He seems to once again read my thoughts. "Yes, I want you to answer me."

"Completely," I say quietly.

"Does it frighten you?"

I hear the sound of his belt and my breath catches as I reply, "No."

He laughs wickedly, then his hands are suddenly around my throat, his warm breath tickling my lips, "Good."

Holy hell...

His hand moves again to hold my head, I think he's going to kiss me, but I feel something cool and solid against my lips, then the sweet wine pour slowly into my mouth. I swallow and he pours once more, then kisses me sweetly, and whispers "I'm going to pick you up, I'm not entirely sure your legs would work. Keep your eyes closed."

But I thought he wanted...

I feel myself being lifted and gently laid in the nest of pillows and blankets in front of the fire. I think of the first night we spent together here, how sweet and vulnerable he was... it seems like a lifetime ago, but it's only been weeks. So much has changed... so much has grown and bloomed...

I feel his lips kiss both of my knees, his hands massaging my legs... he's still sweet, impossibly so, when he wants to be...

The rest of the time... oh my...


"Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, very."

His hands are on my face now, gently trailing over my forehead, the arch of my brow, my closed lids, my cheeks, my slightly parted lips. His fingers pause there briefly, before moving to my hair, his mouth taking their place. His kiss intoxicates me. I'm floating...

His fingertips trace lightly down the sides of my neck, his lips down the center. The sensation is electric. I whimper when his mouth leaves me, his hands stroking over me as he pushes the jacket open. I know he's looking at me, I want to see, my fascination with his desire undeniable.

"Open your eyes."

I open them and smile at him.

"I know you like to see," he says with a wink.

Of course you do. You know everything.


He gazes at me for a moment before his eyes move hungrily back to my body beneath him.

Yes... that's what I wanted to see. Even if he stops, I know how much he doesn't want to. I want more, but this will be enough if it's all he'll allow us.


He moves to straddle me and his fingers graze seductively over my collarbones. He seems momentarily fascinated by them. I'm fascinated by him, but there's nothing momentary about it...

I watch as his eyes move to my breasts, and I know his hands will soon follow. He inches down slightly over me and the cold metal of his dangling belt buckle drags across my skin, sending a shiver through me. He grabs it and rips it roughly from his pants and throws it across the room.

"The only thing that should make you shiver is me. I don't need props, unless I choose to use them."

"You do."

"EXCUSE ME?"

What did I say? You do... oh! Shit! Sooooo not what I meant...


"I ASSURE YOU I DON'T. You know, that belt could be used for something else."

What? Geez... let me explain! "Please don't do that. That wasn't what I meant at all. You do make me shiver. You know that."

"I do know it, and God help you, because I'm about to make sure you never forget it."

Oh! Yes, please!


I know my face has given me away again when he smirks at me.

"Bring it," I say with a smirk of my own.

He raises a brow and chuckles low in his throat and the shiver that runs through me now is all him. Hello, arrogant bastard...


His eyes are black as he peers down at me and his hand moves to the button of his pants. "Such a smart mouth... "

My cocky smirk disappears. I'm willing, but like this? With what I've heard, I'm not sure this is the position I want to be in... he could kill me!

Another low chuckle, "What's the matter, sweetheart? Gotten yourself into a bit of a predicament?"

He doesn't want to kill me... I'm sure he doesn't... Don't be such a baby! I clear my throat, trying to sound calm, "I wouldn't want to assume anything."

"But I think you are."

He makes a show of unzipping his pants and I bite my lip.

He reaches forward with his other hand and pulls my lip free with his thumb, forcing it into my mouth. "Open for me."

I can hear my breathing, my heart is thumping hard in my chest. I close my eyes for a second, trying to gather courage.

"Keep them closed."

I feel him shift forward and my eyes flash open. "That's mean! At least let me see it before you choke me to death with it!"

Of course, I realize as the words fly unstoppable out of my mouth that the only thing close to it is his own. He rears back and roars with laughter. Evil bastard.


Now that I'm completely humiliated... 

I reach up and cover my face with my hands, but he pulls them instantly away, pinning them above my head.

"Don't ever hide your beautiful face from me, I don't like that."

"I feel stupid. I want to hide."

"You have nothing to feel stupid about."

"You were quite amused."

"Because you're adorable, no other reason."

I don't want to be adorable right now! Adorable will equate to sweet little victim in his eyes and his game will be over. Damn it, I've done it now...

"Don't pout."

I ignore his order. This pout is justified and I'm keeping it.

He narrows his eyes at me and leans down and bites my lip. Hard.

"Ow!"

"I said don't pout."

"It was a real one."

"I know, but unnecessary."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know how you think."

"What am I thinking?"

He releases my hands and sits up, and refastens his pants, but doesn't move off of me. My pout returns.

"What did I say? I promise you, you DO NOT want me to have to repeat myself a third time."

"Okay. Don't get mad."

He leans back and grabs my glass of wine and reaches down to lift my head, putting it to my lips. "Two sips."

I take my permitted two sips and he lays my head gently back on the pillow. After returning my glass to the table, he downs what's left in his in one gulp and turns back to me. "You were thinking that I was going to put a stop to this. Am I correct?"

"Yes."

"Don't you remember what I told you last night?"

"Ummm... "

"That once you earn something from me, I don't take it away."

"Yes."

"I meant it."

I don't know what I did to earn this, but yay me!

He smiles at the ridiculous grin on my face and his eyes travel over me again. "Did I tell you how incredibly sexy you are?"

"No."

"Unacceptable."

"You can make it up to me."

"Any particular way you'd like me to do that?"

If he's going to give me this, then I can sure as hell give him his control. "As you see fit."

"And here I didn't think you could get any sexier... "

"Hmmm... how sexy would I become if I called you Sir?"

He leans low over me, planting his hands on either side of my head, "You should give it a shot and see."

"I'll add that to my notes."

"I'll share my book with you."

"That's very sweet of you."

"I'm not feeling very sweet," he murmurs, his lips against mine. "Open for me."

I part my lips for him, and his tongue slips inside. This kiss is anything but sweet. His mouth is hungry. His lips... his tongue... he's taking complete control. His hand comes off of the floor next to me and slides under my neck, pulling me to him possessively, his grip less than gentle. There's something about this gesture... it has ruled this day in different variations. It makes me feel... owned. What comes as the greatest shock to me is that I like it.

I want to touch him. I want to feel him. I reach my arms up to wrap around him and he stops.

"No."

He looks into my confused eyes and I know this is part of the control he wants. I put my arms down at my sides.

"Good girl," he whispers, and I see something flicker in his eyes.

His rules.


He rubs the tip of his nose against mine and smiles at me wickedly before running it along my jaw and down my neck.

He doesn't see the pout that forms with the knowledge that I robbed myself of the rest of his kiss. It quickly disappears as I feel his tongue trail across my collarbone. I never would have imagined how sensitive it could be. He seems to know what my body is capable of feeling more than I do. If he wants to teach me, then I am eager to learn. Perhaps his desire for control is a gift in disguise. I do love presents...


I feel a sudden sharp pinch on my nipple and look down to find him looking at me angrily.

"Ow."

"Am I boring you?"

What? "No, why would you... "

"Your mind is elsewhere. I thought you wanted this, but clearly I was mistaken."

He starts to lift off of me, but I grab his shirt. "No! Please... my mind is on you. Like it could be anywhere else? I do want this! Please don't stop!"

"Let go of my shirt."

I do as he says, and let go, hating myself, expecting him to get up, but he stays where he is.

"What were you thinking about? Don't lie to me."

"You know I wouldn't... "

"Answer my question. Nothing else."

"I was thinking how you make me feel things I didn't know were possible. Things I've never felt before."

"And?"

I'm feeling shy, but he knows there's more, and if I have any hope of him not stopping this right now I have to tell him.

"I'm waiting."

Tell him!


"And that you teach me things... "

His expression is cocky now, but his voice sweet, "I think there's more, but I won't make you tell me now. I want to make you feel things, but trust me when I say that you'll feel more if you let everything else go. Don't think, just feel.

I want control. You know that, and you think you're giving it to me, but you're not. Do you understand what I'm telling you?"

"Yes."

"I want more. If you can't give it to me, then you're not ready for this."

"I can."

"We'll see."

No, you'll see...


He's right. I've never surrendered myself that completely to anyone. It was too much to give. He isn't anyone. It's not too much. Nothing's too much. Not for him.

I take a deep breath and I can feel myself letting go. Surrendering. Trusting completely. I look into his eyes and hope he sees.

I let go of that hope and every other thought when I feel his hands on me, his thumbs flicking gently over my nipples. They harden instantly under his touch, my breath catching in my throat.

"Let it go," I hear him whisper, as his fingers trail over my skin.

He plants soft kisses all around my right breast as his thumb continues it's delicate, torturous assault on my left. His tongue mimics his thumb, and a soft moan escapes me as he pulls it into his mouth. He nips and sucks and lets it fall from his mouth, blowing over it's tip. I cry out as a convulsing shiver runs through me, and I hear him chuckle as he moves to repeat the heavenly torture on my left.

He slides down my body, still straddled over me, his hands and tongue teasing every inch of my stomach... touch... kiss... lick... again and again. Jolt after jolt of his electric touch surges through me. I am a quivering mess...

"Look at me," he orders, as his fingers trail just inside the edge of the lace of my shorts.

I do as I'm told and his eyes don't leave mine as he rolls back on his feet to pull my legs up from under him, bending my knees, my feet flat on the blanket.

"Don't you want to see?"

I know he's going to pull them off. I know he's going to look at me. I do want to see.

I nod my head shyly, feeling the now familiar blush color my cheeks.

He smiles at me, "I'll let that one go. Just this once."

My eyes go wide as I realize what he means... I didn't answer him.

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm not so evil that I can't appreciate the innocence that is still a part of you."

I frown and he shakes his head.

"Don't do that. As much as I adore it, I am evil enough to let you give it to me."

My frown turns into a face-splitting smile and he winks at me, before his eyes travel back to the gift I'm dying to give him. His eyes narrow and flash back to mine, his mouth twitching.

"You have some explaining to do."

I don't understand... "What?"

He glares at me, then turns his angry gaze back down as he slides the lacy fabric from me and tosses it away. He places his hand between my barely-parted knees and his eyes move back to my face.

"Open for me."

I'm confused. I don't understand what's upset him. My legs are trembling as I move my feet around him to do as he says. He glances back down, his breath catching slightly, before looking back up at me.

"How long have you been anticipating my sudden change of heart?"

What? "I don't understand."

"You haven't been anywhere without me in several days."

"That's true."

"Who's it for?"

"Jaimin, I'm sorry, but I still don't understand. Who's what for?"

He slides his thumb along the smooth skin and I can't help the gasp that escapes me, despite his suddenly distracted and angry mood.

"THAT."

What the hell? "YOU."

"Don't be smart."

I am completely baffled. "I'm not. What did I do? Please tell me."

"Don't play games with me, Claire."

I don't know what the hell I did, but the moment has obviously passed. I start to pull myself up, suddenly very uncomfortable in my current position on display.

"Did I tell you to move?"

"No," I whisper, laying back down.

His thumb repeats it's earlier movement over me, and I tense. I don't think I'm supposed to enjoy this.

He smacks the side of my thigh. "I said don't turn yourself off to me."

"I didn't think you wanted me to... "

"That's what you get for assuming. Is this a leftover preference of his?"

Oh... now I see. "No."

He just glares at me, not saying anything. Maybe I should elaborate. "It's a preference of mine."

Still nothing.

"If you don't like it... "

"I didn't say I didn't like it."

"Then why are you angry with me?"

"Do you do it yourself?"

"Only if I can't get an appointment when I want... "

"No more appointments."

"What? But you said... "

"Do you think I'm going to allow someone to so much as look at you, let alone touch you?"

"It's a professional salon. It's a woman... "

"NO. MORE. APPOINTMENTS."

"You're being incredibly overbearing."

"You'll get used to it."

"You're... "

"My rules."

"My body."

"Whose?"

"Jaimin... "

"WHOSE?"

"Ours."

"Try again."

I laugh and shake my head, what else can I do... I still wouldn't change him... "Yours."

He's looking at me with a cocky grin. He knows he's an ass, but he knows he's won. Again.

"Can I get up now?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not finished with you."

"You're not?"

"No. Unless you don't want it anymore. You can always say no."

"You're funny."

"You're beautiful."

"Thank you."

I see the flame reignite in his eyes and his fingers begin to trail lazily up and down the outsides of my thighs. Just like that, I am putty in his hands. His eyes leave mine to once again look down at his unclaimed gift and this time I see exactly what I wanted.

"Jaimin?"

"Yes, beautiful?"

"As you see fit and all of that, but can I point out one thing?"

"What's that?"

"You're ridiculously overdressed."

"Well, kitten, you only think that because you're making assumptions again."

Assumptions? What...


My train of thought disappears as his lips start to weave a path of tender kisses down the inside of my thigh. My hands grip the blanket and my back arches in response.


His hands are low on my thighs and move suddenly beneath me, gripping hard and possessive on my ass. He lifts me to him, so close to his mouth that I can feel his breath against me.

"Tell me again who it's for."

Holy hell! I stare at him wide-eyed and open-mouthed, sure I can't speak.

"TELL ME."

He called me kitten... 


He wrote make my kitten purr... 


This was his plan all along...


Oh.


My.


God.


I try to answer him, but no sound comes out. He smirks shamelessly at my silent but moving mouth and squeezes me harder.

"You can do it. I need to hear it. Don't deny me."

His warm breath against my delicate flesh sends shiver after shiver through me. I can do it. He said need. That's enough to give me strength. I could never deny him.

"You... " I manage to say shakily, "It's... for... you."

I watch him as he begins to move his mouth slowly over me, his lips parted slightly, barely grazing my sensitive skin.  His breath tickles me as it flows in and out, igniting every nerve in my body. His lips are soft, featherlight and relentless in their tease. The ache building inside of me is so intense that I feel tears start to form in my eyes, the sensation overwhelming me.

"Please... " I beg breathlessly.

He doesn't stop and I feel his mouth vibrate against me as he murmurs "Patience, kitten."

I cry out from the unexpected pleasure of it and he gives me more. "Such a good girl."

My hands grip desperately to the blanket beneath me and he answers my silent plea with a rough squeeze of my ass, pulling me hard against his mouth for the briefest second. I cry out again and he rewards me with a long hum against my throbbing flesh.

I can't hold still. I can't control the need he has built in me. My toes dig into the blanket and force my hips upward, begging him to have mercy on me. His hands move quickly to wrap around my thighs, holding me in place, causing me to open even more before him.

"So eager.... not yet, sweetheart. It's my gift, and I want to play with it."

Oh, dear God... he does want to kill me...


"Hmmm... and such a beautiful gift."

His eyes and the appreciation I see in them gives me a moment of courage. Seeing his want fascinates me to no end. He knows this, of course, and looks up at me and smiles, before returning his lips to brush lightly against me.

I whimper and I feel his smile.

"So soft... "

Damn him...


He runs the tip of his nose down through my soft folds, giving me the first bit of real pressure and I nearly come undone.

"You're intoxicating. Do you know that?"

"No," I cry, "Please... "

"So impatient... "

So evil!


"And, trust me, yes."

"It's for you," I try.

He chuckles low in his throat. "I know that, but I don't think you're ready. That's unfortunate... because my mouth is watering for a taste."

Oh, please! "You've been known to be wrong."

"Once or twice."

"Or three times, if you count now."

"I'd be willing to test that, if only you could hold still."

"I can."

"I don't think so."

"Now you're assuming."

"Valid point, sweetheart."

He releases his firm grip his right hand was holding on my thigh and drags his fingers lightly over me towards the aching heat between my legs. He glides his fingers through the wetness that has pooled there and looks up at me.

"I stand corrected. You seem quite ready. Stop holding your breath."

I exhale and watch him with wide eyes as he brings his fingers to his mouth, tasting me from them.

His eyes blaze with want and his voice is low as he speaks, "Oh, Miss Beaulieu... my fragile ego shatters before you."

I look at him, confused, and a sexy smile forms on his lips.

"Not even I could create such a magnificent delicacy. Your perfection is beyond me. I am humbled."

The only thing shattered is me. My God... "Oh, Mr. Guillory... but you're wrong again. You did create it."

There it is... just what I hoped for... arrogant bastard returns with a vengeance.


I lose all coherent thought as his mouth claims me. His lips, his tongue... tasting his creation. He made this dripping, throbbing magnificent delicacy. It's his and he wants it.

The pleasure throttles me as his tongue ravishes me, flicking at me mercilessly, sending me immediately to the edge. I come off the floor as I feel it push inside of me and he holds me still, continuing his sweet exploration, pushing it as deep in me as he can. His lips against me are a gentle massage of my swollen flesh as he bores his tongue into me.

My cries and pleas fuel him, make him hungry. He pulls it from inside of me and licks me, harder and harder, his masterful tongue taking now, not giving. He moans deep and low against me, the vibration sublime, and I know the taste of me is now consuming him. His hands are beneath me again, pulling me off of the floor and greedily to his mouth. I have never felt so desired, so adored. This knowledge itself could push me over the edge, but his mouth needs no help. I'm so close...

His moans are animalistic as he thrusts me up, again and again, feeding his hunger. He can't get me close enough. He sucks me into his mouth, devouring me, and I start to come apart.

"Yes!" I scream, "It's for you... it's yours... take it all... "

His deep growl rings in my ears as I surrender myself to him, the waves crashing over me again and again, pulling me under into the depths of oblivion. I let it take me, let him take me where he wants me, let him drown me with his gift of bliss.

The waves don't let up their assault on me, and neither does his mouth. My body is no longer my own. He's right, it's his, it belongs to him. I've given him everything, but still he wants more. He licks and sucks, relishing every drop of my sweet surrender, unwilling to relinquish his control over me. I have nothing left, I'm completely shattered. I pull at him frantically, begging for mercy, but he doesn't give in to my pleas. He grasps my hands firmly in his and holds them securely.

"Endure it for me."

I give up my fight when I hear his words, and his mouth resumes it's torment, not letting me come down. His movements are gentle now... his thumbs grazing tenderly on the backs of my hands in his... his tongue swirling gently over my flamed flesh... followed by soft kisses. My whole body trembles for him. My every breath is his name. I'm pulled under again, tossed and rolled... a dance in his chaotic bliss... and then I'm floating. Floating in his adoration. I feel my hands still held in his, his arms against my hips, cradling me, making me feel safe and protected as he savors... my dripping, shattered existence his prize.

"Such a good girl... " he murmurs against my skin as he trails kisses up my body. He doesn't leave an inch unloved as he makes his way up to me. "Look at me, beautiful," he whispers softly, as he pushes my sweat-soaked hair from where it has plastered itself to my face and neck. My eyes flutter open and meet his tender gaze and he smiles adoringly at me.

"Would you do something for me?"

My voice is an exhausted whisper, "Anything."

"So sweet... " he smiles again as he reaches back and takes a piece of ice from the bucket on the table behind him. He glides it over my lips as he looks at me. "Open for me."

I open and he slides it into my mouth, running it along the insides of my lips and down my tongue as far as his fingers will reach. He slides it back up so his fingertips are just between my lips. "Suck," he says with a wink, and I close my mouth around them and suck greedily, thirsting for the wetness of the ice and the taste of him.

His eyes blaze for a moment and I hear a soft moan and then he's back in control. "That's enough."

I open my mouth and he tosses the ice into the dwindling fire, causing a soft crackle. He leans over me, our lips almost touching, gazing intently into my eyes, "I want you to taste how delicious you are. Will you let me show you?"

It doesn't escape me that he's asking, not telling, his innocence in this one thing showing itself to me. I feel the blush make it's appearance on my cheeks, adding itself to the glow I know I wear. He strokes my cheek softly with his fingers and raises his brows in question.

"Yes," I whisper shyly.

He cradles my face in his hands and his lips touch mine. I open for him, he doesn't need to ask, and his tongue slips inside. His kiss is deep and I taste the delicacy he was so enraptured by mixed with the taste that is him. He's turned on by this, I can feel it before his order comes.

"Suck," he says into my mouth and pushes his tongue deeper.

I don't deny him, I take it between my lips and suck hungrily, tasting him, his desire, and myself. I feel him groan into my mouth and my hands grasp the back of his head, pulling him hard to me, sucking his tongue furiously. He wanted me to taste myself, wanted me to take it from him, and he gives it to me mercilessly. I want him. I want to taste him. Only him. My hands move frantically down to his pants and I just get the button undone when he pulls them away.

"No."

"Please," I beg. "I want you. I want you in my mouth. I want to taste you. Please."

"Fuck... " he says, and I know my plea is coursing through his mind, threatening to crumble his will.

I try to pull my hands from his grasp, thinking he'll let me, hoping... but he holds them firm.

"No, sweetheart."

"Why?"

"This was just for you."

"But that's not fair... "

"Shhh... it's more than fair."

"But... "

"No."

He means it. I see it. He's not going to budge. I don't understand, but I won't push anymore. I don't want to make him angry. His rules. His moment of innocence is gone. He's back in control.

"Okay," I murmur quietly. "As you see fit."

"Don't pout."

I give him a sad smile and he kisses me sweetly, then breaks into a cocky grin.

"Yes?" I ask with a chuckle, knowing something shameless is coming.

"I'm still good at everything."

I sigh dramatically and my voice is a purr, "Oh... yes you are... "

Clear and Bright: Chapter Thirteen: Little Blue Boxes

                                            

                                   
"Mmmmm... " I awake to a heavenly sensation, his fingers trailing gently through my hair.

I hear a soft chuckle and reach my hand towards the sound, my eyes still closed, and feel him take my hand in his and lift it to his lips.

"Good morning, beautiful."

"Good morning. You smell good. Put it back."

"Thank you. If I put it back, you'll never get up."

"I'm unemployed. I don't have to get up. Put it back."

"As much as I know you would like to lay here all day while I play with your hair, we have things to do. Open those big brown eyes."

"Do I have to?"

"Yes, you do. I promise to indulge your pretty head later, if you're good."

"I'm an angel."

"When you're asleep."

I open my eyes and he gives me a wink.

"You're evil. At least I'm laying down this time. What things do we have to do?"

"Feed you, take you shopping, a few other things."

"You look dreamy."

"Dreamy? You wouldn't be trying to earn yourself more presents, would you?"

"No. You just look dreamy."

"Well, thank you sweetheart. Would you like me to start your shower?"

"I'd like you to start and finish it."

"I'm taking notes, I owe you door rattling and a shower. As for today, I'll start it for you. You've got three minutes, don't make me come back."

I give him a playful salute and watch him leave with a cocky grin on his face. Nice jeans, Mr. Guillory...

Within seconds I hear the shower. I don't want to get up, but I do love presents. I climb out of bed and go to the closet. What to wear for an outing with my dreamy, good smelling, nice jeans wearing man? I've got it... some 'good ass' jeans of my own, a pale blue cashmere sweater, and black high heeled boots. Oh, who am I kidding... they're all 'good ass' jeans. Thank you, God.

I select some coordinating lacy goodies and lay them all at the foot of the unmade bed. I'll strip it later, I'm pretty sure I took some sugar with me when I climbed in a few hours ago.

He's standing in the doorway when I turn to head to the shower. I think he came to yell at me, but my lacy goodies seem to have distracted him.

"If you're still here in about ten minutes, I'll model them for you."

He gives me a stern look and points toward the bathroom. Well, it was worth a shot...

As I should have expected, I feel a light smack as I walk past him. I don't turn around as I say "I'm pouting, and it's one of the sad ones, just so you know."

"That's not a lie, is it Claire?" he calls after me.

I close the bathroom door. Like I'm going to admit that?


                                             ~


"I wish you wouldn't let insignificant things bother you."

"I wish there were no insignificant things to be bothered by."

"If I could change that, I would."

"Too bad you can't."

"You're the only one I see, Claire. No one else exists."

"Yet everywhere we turn, there they are."

"You have nothing to be jealous of."

"Don't I?"

"Absolutely not."

"I disagree. After all, they have knowledge of you that you won't share with me. I can tell the difference between the ones that want you and the ones that have had you just by the way they look at you. I have plenty in common with the first and none with the second. I think that's more than enough reason to be jealous."

"I assure you that you have nothing in common with either."

I should have known shopping with him would be this way. Women's shops have women in them. God, I'm so stupid. I am not enjoying this at all. Damn you little pink shorts! It's all your fault!

"And what's the point of them staring at me?"

"I imagine it's many reasons."

"For instance?"

"Look in a mirror, sweetheart."

"So I'm pretty, so what?"

"That's hardly a worthy description, but I'm glad you know."

"Of course I know."

He laughs a wicked laugh, "Now who's arrogant?"

"Still you. Can we go home?"

"No."

"Please?"

"We're shopping, or at least we're supposed to be. You are being impossibly picky. And you should stand your ground, not run away."

"I thought it would be fun. It's not. I want to go home."

"They're jealous of you. Have fun with that."

"I can't when I know you're what they want, or have already had and want again."

"You can because you know they can't have what they want. It belongs to you."

"You wouldn't like it if the roles were reversed."

"You're right, I wouldn't, and I don't. You're getting plenty of attention, Claire. You're oblivious to it, but I see. I see everything."

"I don't want any attention but yours."

"I know that, and that's one of the many things that sets you apart from them. Most women want to be looked at, by any and everyone, but you... " He gently strokes my cheek, before moving his hand to the back of my neck, pulling me to him. "You only want my eyes on you. You know who you belong to. You have respect for that. That makes me very happy."

His lips hover dangerously close to mine, his grip on the back of my neck strong and possessive. It's making me weak. I want him to kiss me, and his eyes tell me he wants to, but will he? Can he? I know we have an audience, he knows we have an audience. If it was an audience of men, I know he wouldn't hesitate, but we're surrounded by women in this shop... women that haven't taken their eyes off of us since we walked in. Some he knows. Intimately. He hasn't paid them a bit of attention, his attention unwavering on me, but to kiss me... something he's never given them... while they're watching... staring at this intimate exchange...

A smirk starts to form on his lips, and I know my arrogant bastard is here. His other hand is full of bags, but it comes up, his arm pulling my body against him. I'm completely swathed by him, his possession. I'm his. His mouth is on me now, he kisses me passionately, deeply, purposefully. Yours, his lips tell me, let them see. Let them know.


I've never been one for public displays of affection, their intent always a possessive show by whoever I was with, but I accept this from him. This is for me. I want it. This day has been difficult for me, the jealousy I've felt unbearable. He's taking it all away now, and my arms wrap around him shamelessly, forgetting everything and everyone else around us. Nothing else matters. He's mine.

He breaks the kiss, but his face stays close, our lips barely separated. He's looking at me, his expression arrogant and sexy as hell, his fingertips moving featherlight on the back of my neck. A gift followed by torture. He's doing it on purpose.

"Thank you," I whisper against his lips, "That's the best present you've given me all day, but if you don't stop doing that with your fingers, you're going to have to man up and take me right here."

"Control, sweetheart. I like it. I won't have mercy on you when I want it. I want you to learn how to endure it for me. I promise you will be rewarded for your efforts. When I see fit, of course."

My breath catches and he winks at me. "Just a little incentive... and you're welcome."

Well, if obedience is what he wants... 


And it will get me what I want...


Then I shall make my halo outshine the stars...


May God have mercy on my soul...


He knows the effect his words have had on me. He smirks at me and kisses the top of my head as he moves his hand from my neck to fervently stroke my hair before reaching down and taking my hand in his. That gesture serves only to make me weaker on my legs and I know when he squeezes my hand that he feels me trembling. Evil...

He doesn't in any way acknowledge our audience, or the gaping mouths or wide eyes he's left them with, but I see them. I don't avoid their eyes. I stand my ground, however wobbly, just like he told me to. I smile sweetly at each shocked face and I hear him chuckle.

"That's my girl."

"No one else's."

"Ever again," he says, planting a tender kiss on my cheek. Something a few feet away has caught his eye, and he pulls me towards it just as his phone rings. His conversation is short, a "Yes" and a "Thank You."

"Is everything alright?" I ask him.

"Yes. I like this, I want you to try it on."

"Okay," I smile at him. It's a blouse, very flowy, very delicate, very chocolate. It's the fourth thing he's picked today that's this color. I do believe my love has a favorite, or at least his favorite on me. I haven't forgotten his reaction when I wore it last. I'm taking notes too...


He hands me a few more things, his taste is impeccable, and he definitely knows what he likes. I watch him as he looks around the shop, seemingly looking at people now, not things, before turning back to me.

"I think we're making some progress. Look for anything else you want, I'm going to step out for a few minutes. I promise I won't be long. Stay here, don't go anywhere else, and I'll be back before you're done trying things on."

"Oh. Okay."

"Right back."

That's the second time he's stepped away today. My eyes follow him out the door and I see a tall blonde woman follow him out. It makes me uncomfortable.

Don't let your jealousy make you crazy. Just because she followed him doesn't mean he wanted her to. He said he'd be right back. Trust him.


You've been quiet.

Just letting you work things out for yourself. I'm always here if you need me.


I find a few more items to try on and head to the dressing room, trying to keep my thoughts from running away from me. I notice that the attention on me has not let up by his leaving, if anything it's increased. I suppose that makes sense, since they don't have him to look longingly at...

I try a few things on, everything he's chosen is perfect, and I'm not surprised at all. That's the way it's been all day. I pull on a pair of jeans I found and the chocolate blouse he gave me before he left. I want to see myself in the large mirror, and when I open my dressing room door I see that some of our audience has assembled themselves there. They seem to all know each other, and they appear to be waiting for me.

"I believe there are plenty of rooms open, if you're all waiting," I say brightly, before turning around to inspect my assets.

"Well, there's one obvious reason," one of them mutters. "He can't help himself, although I'm sure he has."

"I don't know about that, she looks a little sweet, like a perfect, pretty little doll you're only supposed to look at, not touch. He'd break her in pieces."

Words of wisdom from his bed post notches, great. They all laugh at her, and I'm again uncomfortable, to say the least. Her eyes are all over me. I can't say I've ever been looked over in such a way as she is doing, at least not by a woman...

"Is there a point to this little gathering?" I ask dryly.

"You know there is."

"And that is?"

"We've all fucked him, you know. Not at the same time... well, not all of us," she laughs, "but we've all had a turn or two."

Her words and tone make my stomach lurch, but I keep my expression disinterested. At least I hope I do. Please, if I am capable of a poker face, let it be now.

"Well, that's his business and yours. Is there anything else?"

"Why is he with you?"

"I suppose you should ask him that, but since he's not here... I imagine it's because he wants to be. That's generally why a person spends time with another, is it not?"

"He doesn't spend that kind of time with women. Or is this some dressing room fantasy waiting to play out?"

"Dressing rooms are for trying on clothes. That's what I was doing before I was interrupted. Now, if you'll all excuse me... " I let my voice trail off and step back into my room and close the door.

"We'll wait."

Of course they will. You have got to be kidding me. I pull my phone out of my bag... I don't need this shit, he can come and deal with it. I type out a quick text.

C : Where are you? Please come back. Your little friends are ruining my day. Dressing room party not fun.

Well, I'm not going to hide while I wait. Stand my ground. Okay, Jaimin, if that's what you want.

I step back out, hands folded across my chest. "Wait for what?"

"Are you fucking him?"

"That's none of your business. I don't appreciate your inappropriate question."

One of the harem chimes in, "Of course she's fucking him, what else would she be doing?"

"I don't know... they're shopping, for Christ's sake, don't you find that strange? He's never taken a woman anywhere, let alone to buy her things. And he kissed her. In front of everyone. You saw it. She's more than fucking him, and I want to know what more is."

"My relationship with Jaimin doesn't concern any of you. Have you nothing better to do with your time? I find that rather pathetic."

"Relationship? Oh, you poor, stupid, naive little girl... you are sweet, aren't you? Jaimin doesn't have relationships. He fucks. Hard and well, then he leaves. That's what he does, nothing more. Don't think for a second that he'll give you anything more than that. Don't think for a second that you're special, I assure you, you're not."


"Hold on... maybe she is? I mean, there's obviously something going on here. He's already giving her more.  He's intrigued by her, if nothing else. Can't say I blame him. She's very intriguing."

"Oh, please... he left, and we all saw who followed him out the door. He's probably got his cock down her throat as we speak. Maybe princess here doesn't do that, although she's certainly got the mouth for it. As for you, careful what you say, you might scare her."

They're all laughing again. I don't see the humor. I feel sick. The fact that he's still gone, and hasn't replied to my text isn't helping. Would he?

"Well, isn't this cozy?"

Everyone turns to look, he's standing in the doorway. He doesn't look happy, at all. I wonder how long he's been standing there. He's looking at me strangely. It's almost as if I'm the one he's angry at. What the hell did I do? He had to have heard at least some of what they said?

"It could be, if you join us. I like your pretty little doll."

"Shut your fucking mouth."

"What the fuck is that?"

The bitchy one is pointing to what he holds in his hand. He appears to have unloaded the bags he was carrying before, and all he holds now is a small Tiffany's bag.

I hate myself for even considering that he may have been... oh no... my stupid thought must have shown on my face... no wonder he looks like that...

"None of your fucking business. What the hell do you all think you're doing?"

"We're just getting to know your little doll. Don't get upset, we didn't hurt her. We were keeping her company. Don't blame us for being curious, Jaimin, you put on quite a show out there."

"SHE DOESN'T CONCERN YOU. DON'T LOOK AT HER. DON'T TALK ABOUT HER, AND SURE AS FUCK DON'T TALK TO HER, NOT ANOTHER FUCKING WORD."

He turns his eyes back to me. His voice is much softer, but I can see he's not happy with me. "I'm sorry I left you alone in here, I should have known better, and I'm sorry I got held up. If you're finished, get changed and we can go."

I don't say anything, just turn around and walk back to my dressing room. I'm just about to close the door behind me when I hear him.

"And sweetheart?"

"Yes?" I pop my head back out.

"In case there was any question... those jeans come with us."

I give him a cocky smirk. "There wasn't, but thank you, and it's all coming."

He smiles at me and I close the door. I hear her immediately.

"I told you her ass had something to do with it."

His response is chilling. "Say one more word about her, and I'll rip your fucking head off."

I wait for a reply, but none comes. It's eerily quiet, no one has moved. What are they waiting for? I dress quickly, anxious to see what the silent scene looks like. When I open the door, his eyes are immediately on me. Theirs are all on him. All over him. They know he's mad... God, have they no shame?

He holds a credit card out to me, "Take this, I'll be up in a few minutes. Wait for me there."

He wants to talk to them. He doesn't want me to hear. I don't think I like that. I open my mouth to object, but he speaks before I have the chance.

"It's not a request."

He knows I won't challenge him. He knows I won't disrespect him in front of them. I nod my head and take the card, leaving him with his harem.

The salesgirl is chatty, I shop here often. I excuse myself when I hear my phone, and check the incoming text. I recognize the number. It's Leal.

  You look beautiful. That shade of blue suits you.

Great, just what I need. He can see me. He's watching me from somewhere. I turn toward the dressing rooms, Jaimin is talking. He has their undivided attention, though they don't look happy now. He doesn't want me back there, but I'll catch hell if I don't tell him. It's a no win situation.

Salesgirl is waiting for me. I hand her the card, while I scan the area outside. I don't see him, but I know he's there. I scribble Jaimin's name on the slip and take the bags and head towards the conversation I'm not supposed to hear.

"Jaimin?" I say before I reach them, I don't want him to think I'm eavesdropping.

"I said wait for me up front," he says without looking at me.

"I know, but... "

"Go. Now."

"You told me to tell you immediately if... "

His head snaps to me instantly and I hold out my phone. He takes one look at the message, hands me the little blue bag and tears past me. "Stay here!"

He thinks the danger is out there? I'm not so sure about that. The Harem of Horrors is gaping again. And, unfortunately for me, not interested in heeding his warning not to talk to me.

"What's that about? Must be bad for him to leave you in our care."

I roll my eyes at her and turn my back, leaning in the doorway.

"While that's a lovely view, and I'm sure his favorite, I like your little doll face. You should turn around so we can see you."

Unbelievable. Is she serious? Although I suppose turning my back on them isn't the smartest thing I've ever done. I turn around, giving the overly attentive one a dirty look. She pouts at me. Ugh!

They're all very pretty, I'll give him that, although I can't help but notice there's not a brunette among them. No brown eyes, and not a sweet bone in any of their big breasted, nearly anorexic bodies. They're all as opposite of me as they could be.

"Don't you want to know what's in the bag?"

I look at her, but don't answer.

"He'll never know you looked. We won't tell."

I clutch the top of the bag closed.

"How long have you been seeing him?"

Nice try, blondie, not gonna happen.

"How did you meet?"

You wish.

"Was it at the restaurant?"

I wonder how many of them met him there. I don't want to know.

"Has he ever spent the night with you?"

I trust that my face has given the answer I won't speak.

"Have you ever been in his apartment?"

Now that is tempting. Really tempting. Judging by their expressions, my answer didn't need to be spoken this time either. Thank you, face.


"What did you have to do to get him to kiss you?"

We all have our breaking point. There's mine. "Exist."

"Twenty questions is over," he says from behind me.

Crap. I'm probably in trouble for that. "It's the only one I answered," I say sweetly, turning to look at him.

He takes the bags from my hand and wraps his arm around me protectively. "Come on, beautiful. I want to get you home where I can have you all to myself."

I smile at him, wondering what happened outside. His face gives nothing away.

"Where are you going, lover? We were in the middle of something."

"I just ended it. Address me that way again and it will be the last thing you ever say."

"Well, girls, looks like our fun is over. Jaimin... give me a call sometime, we can get together. Bring your pretty doll, I'd like a taste. It's the least you can do for her, since we all know you'll let it go to waste."

I don't know what I'm more shocked at, what she said, or that he let go of me and now has her by the throat up against the wall. I don't know what to do. I want to calm him down, but I don't know how to do that without making him angry at me. I'm distracted from my thoughts by my phone. I have another text from Leal.

  You're too sweet for him, Claire. He won't take care of you like I would. He won't appreciate you.   He won't be gentle with you. Please see that before it's too late, before he ruins you. He isn't right for you. I'm right for you. You know that. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. Let me show you. It will be different. I promise it will. Please. Let me love you. 


He heard it. He no longer has her against the wall. He's standing in front of me, his hand open. I put the phone in his hand and watch him while he reads it. He's not happy about what he sees.

He looks at me now and his eyes are very serious. "I need to know something... is there any part of you that believes that's true? Any part at all?"

Oh no. Where's my arrogant bastard? "No. No no no no no no no."

He touches my face and nods his head, and without another word or glance back to his sordid past, leads me out of the shop.

He has me tucked protectively against him as he scans the street and opens my door. I climb into the truck and he fastens the seatbelt over me, and tosses the bags into the back seat, with the exception of one, and locks the doors for the seconds it will take him to reach his.

He gets in and puts the little blue bag in my lap. "Don't worry, it's not what you might think, I don't ever want to see that again. I like you conscious."

Oh, Mr. Vulnerable... "I wasn't worried, and even if it was, the only thing you'd see is a very conscious, very happy Claire... in case you're still taking notes."

His mouth drops open and his eyes go wide and I smile at him. "When you see fit, of course."

He's smiling as he starts the truck and pulls away, "I had plans for us for the rest of the day, but we'll have to make them another day. There's a reason I got held up... "

"If you need to work... "

"No, it's not that. Don't worry about that, things are under control there. Not leaving you alone is more important to me."

"I don't want the restaurant to suffer, Jaimin, I'm fine."

"I'm sure as hell not leaving you alone now, not with him watching you. He's unphased by what happened last night, I know that now. I'm not going to let you out of my sight again. The restaurant is fine.

I want you to know why it took me so long to get back to you. I know they were planting doubt in you... "

"No, Jaimin... "

"Claire, I saw your face. I heard what she said, and I saw your face."

"I'm sorry... I don't think that. I don't doubt you. I had a hard time today... I was jealous and it was making me confused and stupid... it was one second... I'm so sorry... "

"You don't have to apologize, but it did hurt me that you could even consider it. I would never do that to you. I would never betray you that way. I would never, ever hurt you like that. I want you. I can't deny that I'm frustrated, but I don't need to run out and relieve that frustration. I told you I would wait. I meant that. I'll wait as long as I have to. The only person I want is you. There won't be any other women, Claire. Never again. You're the only one I want. You are the only one I will ever want."

"You have me, and you can have me. Just say the word. I'm not making you wait for anything."

He clears his throat and a smile touches his lips, "Back to why I got held up... I ran into my mother. Do you remember when we were at the market and I introduced you to some friends of my parents? Well, I knew it was only a matter of time before they mentioned it... I've been avoiding her calls for days. I knew she knew... I know she's been to the restaurant several times over the last few days looking for me. She's probably been by my apartment, but I've been with you... anyway, my luck ran out today. I walked out of Tiffany's and there she was. She was already about to explode, but seeing me walk out of there sent her over the edge. We can't avoid her any longer. It was everything I could do not to let her come back to that shop with me. I didn't want to bombard you with her like that. That's what took so long. I'm sorry you went through hell in there. I made a mistake. I didn't think any of them would dare approach you... obviously I was wrong. I'm so sorry sweetheart, I'd have never left you alone in there if I had thought for a second something like that would happen. When I got your text, I got rid of her and rushed back as quickly as I could, but I had to promise her something. It's not what I wanted, but we're having dinner with my parents tonight."

Oh no. So soon? He doesn't seem to want it... I'll just focus on that. "You don't want them to meet me?"

"It's not that, I just didn't want to be forced into it, or for you to be. I know it's not the best time. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you now, with everything else."

"If it's not what you want, Jaimin, then just tell them I declined the invitation."

"I'm not going to lie, Claire, and I'm certainly not going to make you the bad guy. Unless you are declining?"

"You don't seem happy about it. If that's how you feel, then I will decline and it won't be a lie."

We're at his apartment now, and he comes around to open my door and help me out of the truck. He grabs all of the bags from the back and I wonder why.

"Shouldn't we just leave those?"

"No. We're going to stay here, at least for the next couple of days. We'll get whatever else you'll need from your apartment later."

"But... "

"I know, sweetheart. I'll figure something out. I want you to have everything you need around you. I know you need to be able to paint, I would never take that away from you. I've been thinking a lot about that, making a space for you here, for you to have something for yourself when you need to escape. Can you just give me until tomorrow?"

"You don't have to do that for me. I don't want you to feel like I'm taking something from you. I don't want you to feel smothered."

"Smothered by you? Not possible. There's nothing that I have that I wouldn't share with you. I want to give you your own space because I don't want you to have to leave me when you need that. I want you to be happy, but my reasons are selfish, too."

We're in the apartment now. He deposits the bags in the bedroom and I follow him to the kitchen where he pours us both a glass of wine.

"What do I do with this?" I ask, holding up the Tiffany's bag.

"Bring it with you," he says, leading me into the living room and to the couch.

He hands me my glass of wine and sits his on the table, while he reaches down to pull off my boots. "So, dinner with my parents?"

I have to find a way out of this. Meeting his parents is the last thing I want. "I told you, you don't seem happy about it, so I don't want to."

"I just didn't want to share you, but I promised her. If we don't go, she'll probably show up here."

"If you don't want them to know about me... "

"They already know about you. Now they'll get to see that you're real."

"Real? What does that mean?"

He gestures to the paintings of me, "They've known about you for a long time. My mother thought I was crazy, but now she'll see that you really exist."

"And your father?"

"He knows how determined I am. He had faith that I'd find you eventually, but he figured you'd just run screaming from me."

"Too late now."

"Yes it is. So, we can relax for a little while, then I'll get changed and then we'll go by your apartment and you can do the same and get whatever you'll need for the next few days, then dinner. I wish I could prepare you somehow, but I've never taken anyone home with me, so I can't begin to know how they'll be, just that they'll be thrilled."

"They've never met anyone?"

"Of course not. There's never been anyone."

"There have been a lot of someones."

"Not that I would have taken to meet my parents."

"I don't guess your harem would be appreciated... not by your mother, at least."

"My harem?"

"Yes. That's what I named them today. Harem of Horrors, to be exact. Or whores. Whichever."

He starts to laugh, but then grows serious. "I'm very sorry about all of that. Their behavior was unacceptable. I'm mortified that you were subjected to that."

"Interesting bunch."

"Hardly."

"They were very curious. Too curious, one especially... "

"I wanted to kill her."

"I am a bit curious myself... "

He's immediately angry. "ABOUT WHAT?"

"What? Oh! No! God, no! Just about something she said."

"Nothing she said was worthy of your curiosity."

"There may be a reason you feel that way, besides your wish to shield me from all things inappropriate. Can I ask you something?"

He looks wary. "Go ahead."

"Are you a bit... oh, what's the word I'm looking for... selfish?"

"I'm not sure I know what you're asking me."

"Well, she said 'since we all know you'll let it go to waste'... I'm not so sweet that I don't know what that meant. So, are you?"

Now he laughs. Hard. "Sweetheart, I wouldn't kiss them, do you really think I thought them worthy of that?"

"So, you are."

"I was."

"Have you ever?"

"No."

He's very amused by my line of questioning. I suppose it's better than him being mad.

"I see."

He laughs again, "You're adorable."

"I'm glad you think so."

"But you're pouting."

"I am not."

"Yes you are."

"Maybe my feelings are hurt."

"Would you like to ask me something else?"

"No."

"Are you sure?" He's smirking at me now.

"Yes. I'm just thinking that forever's a really long time."

"I hope so. And sweetheart, I said I never had, not that I wouldn't. I've been known to make exceptions for you."

"Oh."

"Would you like your present now?"

"Huh?"

He laughs again, "Not that, though I promise to add it to my notes. This." He picks up the little blue bag and winks at me.

"Oh. Yes, but I'd like to request that you start writing your notes down. You know... just so you don't forget anything."

"God, I adore you."

"Good. I look forward to you proving it."

"Well, look at that... you're not even blushing."

His mentioning it was all it took to make it a lie. I feel it spread immediately.

"Perhaps I spoke too soon."

"Thank you for not getting mad."

"Why would I get mad at you? I told you many times, you can say anything to me. There are no limits on what."

"You get mad at me all of the time."

"It doesn't mean I adore you any less. And it doesn't mean I want you to be afraid to talk to me."

"I'm not."

"Good. And don't be afraid to tell me when you want something."

"Clearly not a problem. Like I said, don't forget."

"I think I'm feeling some pressure here. That's unfamiliar to me. I'm accustomed to being good at everything. Trying something new and unfamiliar that you clearly have high expectations for could crush my
fragile ego."

"I promise not to be too demanding. And don't worry... practice makes perfect."

"That's very sweet of you," he chuckles, "and I think a good place to end this discussion."

"As you see fit. Now give me my present."

He smiles at me and reaches his hand into the bag and pulls out a little blue box and hands it to me. "It's not quite as delicate as you are, but hopefully my intentions will be understood."

I open the box and inside is a silver charm bracelet with five charms:  a silver heart, a watch lock, a Tiffany's gift box, a painter's palette & brush, and another silver heart with Naughty engraved on one side and Nice on the other. It makes me smile from ear to ear.

"I love it."

"Can I explain it to you?"

"Please, and help me put it on."

He fastens it around my wrist and smiles at me as I watch the dangling charms. "That right there is the innocence I love so much."

"I'm just a silly girl sometimes."

"Don't ever change that."

"You make me that way."

He takes my hand in his and gently strokes my wrist, sending a shiver through me. It makes him smile. He knows.

"Okay... this heart is me.  Cold, hard, lifeless, and locked."

I want to disagree, but I know he's going somewhere, so I lock my lips tight.

"... Now, the clock represents many things:
All of the time I spent waiting and searching for you...
The limitless amount of time I want to spend with you now that I found you.
Time we have to feel.
Time we have to discover... "

He clears his throat and I stick my tongue out at him.

"... Time we have to make mistakes and learn from them. That's mostly me... "

I shake my head, but keep my lips locked tight and he squeezes my hand and continues.

"... Time we have to practice and make perfect." He winks as he says this and it makes me giggle and melt at the same time. Have mercy...


"... It's forever, and it's locked tight, and I don't ever want you to forget."

I shake my head at him. Never...


"... The little present is representative of the many I promise to shower you with, but more importantly, the perfect gift that you are. Nothing I could ever give you could compare to what I have because you give yourself to me. I have everything."

My lip starts to tremble and he reaches up and brushes his thumb across it. "Don't cry, silly girl. You know how I feel about you. You even told me so. I liked that."

I touch my finger to the paint palette and he goes on.

"Of course that's you, but more so than for the obvious reason. You bring everything to life. You make everything bright, and colorful, and beautiful. Not just with your magical brush in your pretty little fingers... you, Claire."

"I think you want me to cry."

"No, sweetheart, I just want you to know how special you are. As for the last one, it speaks for itself. It was too perfect, I couldn't resist."

"I'm not sure I know. Is it us or me?"

He laughs again, "My intention was a representation of us, but you've got it covered without me."

"I think it covers you too, without me. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about the nice part."

"No one would ever believe you anyway."

I climb into his lap and hold his face in my hands, "Thank you. You spoil me far more than I deserve, and in ways I never imagined."

Of course his hands were on me instantly, and now he slides me a few inches back and I pout. "I didn't do anything."

"I know, you've been very good, I'm just not done."

"That was the last charm."

"Yes," he says, reaching into the bag and pulling out a larger box, "but not the end."

"I'm sorry." I start to move off of him, but he pulls me back in place.

"You don't have to be sorry, and you don't have to move. Open this one."

I open the box while he holds it and I know what it means the second I see it. It's a white gold necklace with a filigree heart filled with diamonds and vibrant gems, and a diamond studded key. My eyes fill with tears.

"This is your heart now."

"Yes, beautiful. Touched by you. Opened by you. Filled by you. Brought to life by you."

He takes it from the box and slips it over my head, stroking the back of my neck tenderly with his fingertips as he pulls my hair free. The sensation overwhelms me, sends me over the edge that his words and gifts left me on. The tears break loose, falling down my flushed cheeks, and he pulls me into him as he whispers one last word to me.

"Yours."

"You're so beautiful," I whisper.

"No, silly girl, that's you."

"No, Jaimin, it's you. The things you do... the things you say... the way you look at me... the way you see me... the way you touch me... you. You're too sweet for me. I'm horrible and evil and... "

He grabs my face firmly in his hands, "Don't ever say that. Do you hear me? Don't ever say that again. There is nothing horrible or evil about you. You are the sweetest, most beautiful, innocent, purest person I ever could have imagined. You confound me, day after day."

"But I am... you were doing all of this and I was in there letting them get in my head just because you didn't come running when I called you... "

"You're not. That happened because of the way I lived my life before I found you. It's my fault and mine alone. I know it isn't easy for you. I know you don't understand it. You're too beautiful of a person to comprehend something like that. I'm glad, Claire, I don't want you to understand it. I don't want your beautiful mind to be tarnished by that kind of ugliness. I wish I could go back and change it, change so many things... for you. I've said it so many times... I'm not worthy of you. I'll always know that, and I'll always be in awe that you share yourself with me in spite of it."

I wish he wouldn't say that. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I hate myself for even thinking such a thing, whether it was just for a second or not. You didn't deserve that. You've never done anything to make me doubt you. It doesn't matter how you lived your life before. What matters is how you are with me, and you are the sweetest, kindest, most wonderful man I have ever known. I'm not worthy of you. You should be mad at me. That's what I deserve, not these beautiful gifts and your beautiful words."

"Stop that. You deserve everything that is good and beautiful and I will do whatever I can to try to give you that. I don't blame you for anything and I can't be angry with you, you were backed into a corner and that was my fault. I'm mad at myself, not you. And you should expect me to come running to you when you call, because you're the most important thing in the world to me. I want you to know that. I want you to rely on that. You've waited far too long, Claire. You first. Always. I promise."

"I don't think you're real."

"Unfortunately for you, I am."

"Only unfortunate for me when my behind is on fire."

"Would you like to take back 'kindest'?"

"No." I look down at the necklace and take the small key between my fingers. "This is my favorite part."

"You'll never be on the outside of anything with me. I hope you only use that to lock yourself in."

That's exactly where I want to be, but there is something that could put me on the outside. "What if your parents don't like me?"

"That's ridiculous, they'll love you."

"How do you know? Maybe you're wrong." I know he is...

"Well, because it's impossible not to, for one. And when they see... don't you know how incredible you are that you could make any semblance of a human being out of me? I know, and believe me, they'll know. My parents are going to fall at your feet."

"You give me too much credit. Trust me, your mother won't like me. I'm not looking forward to this. It's going to ruin everything. Do we have to go?"

"Trust me, she will. What would make you think that she won't? What are you afraid of, sweetheart? Nothing's going to be ruined. Nothing could ever change how I feel about you. No one has that power."

"You don't understand. Don't get mad, but I can't explain it to you without using past relationships as an example."

His jaw twitches at the mere mention of it. "Okay. Explain it to me."

"Mothers never like me. Ever. They've all hated me. None of them wanted their sons with me. It always changed things. It made it difficult. It was always an elephant in the room. I don't want that to happen again, not with you, but it will, because I can't change who I am, and who I am won't be good enough in your mother's eyes. This night is going to be terrible, and if you make me go, there's nothing I can do to prevent that. You won't want me when you see how much she hates me. I will be on the outside."

"Listen to me very carefully, that will never happen. Take that from your mind right now. I don't ever want to hear that from you again. Nothing and no one could make me not want you. There is nothing on this earth that could put you on the outside with me. It's not possible. I dare anyone to try, I'll crush them, no matter who they are.

You're wrong, sweetheart. I promise you are. They are going to love you. She is going to love you. My parents know how I lived my life, they weren't happy about that. They know how much of an asshole I am. They will know I don't deserve you, the only thing they won't like is that I dared to claim someone so precious. Just wait, you'll see.

As for your previous negative experiences... all I can say, sweetheart, is that they must have been jealous. I think I'm correct to assume that every man you've had a relationship with has been completely in love with you... maybe they just couldn't accept that their son's hearts belonged to someone in such a way. It certainly isn't your fault."

"A mother wants her son to be worshiped, taken care of, treated like a king... I was never that girl. They all thought I was a selfish, cold hearted, self-centered little bitch who wasn't worthy of their son's affections. And the fact that I can't cook was always an issue, their babies deserved better than that. I even had one get furious with me because she knew I wasn't sleeping with her son - which she only knew because in a rant to him, she called me a slut and he set her straight - she told me that men had needs and who the hell did I think I was to deny him. I was stunned... "

"I can't believe what I just heard. What kind of mother wouldn't want her son to be with a sweet, respectable woman?"

"She didn't think I was sweet. She thought I was a bitch. They all did. Her reason was mostly because he asked me to marry him in front of their entire family and I said no. She said I humiliated him. And on top of that, if I wasn't pleasing him... I'm sorry... none of that is important, but it's always something. Trust me, she'll find a reason to hate me. I've never really cared... but with you... please tell her I can't come. Please. I'm not ready to have everything taken away... "

"No one is going to take anything away from you. I'm going to go out on an arrogant limb and assume by 'everything' you mean me... you can't lose me, Claire, even if you wanted to. Forever, remember? If you think I don't mean that, if this day has made you forget, then I'll just have to try harder to prove it to you. Dinner with my parents is a perfect way to start. We're going. I'm asking you to trust me. Can you do that?"

I want to say no. I want to scream no. Instead, I nod my head.

"Thank you. I know you don't believe it, but thank you for giving me that. And by the way... in case you hadn't noticed, I don't need you to cook for me."

"But the fact that I can't... "

"Will only amuse them. My mother has never so much as sliced a tomato, let alone cook something. Ever."

"Really?"

"Yes, really." He kisses the tip of my nose and stands, turning to drop me playfully on the couch. "I'm going to get you a little more wine, and I want you to relax while I take a quick shower. I want to see that worry gone from your beautiful face by the time I get back or else."

"Then you might as well just do it now," I say sadly.

He sighs and walks to the kitchen with my empty glass and I bury my face in my hands, praying not to be brokenhearted by the end of this night.




                                                ~ ~ ~

Thank you Tiffany & Co. for helping Jaimin spoil my girl. What girl doesn't dream of a little blue box?  ~CM